Surviving When I Wanted to Give Up – ItsJaiMarie

Surviving When I Wanted to Give Up – ItsJaiMarie

2023 was a year filled with unexpected challenges and obstacles for many people, myself included. The year started off with so much promise and excitement, but as the months went by, I found myself grappling with deep internal struggles that overshadowed everything else in my life. It was a year that tested my strength, resilience, and will to live.

My biggest accomplishment of 2023 was staying alive when I wanted to die. It may sound simple to some, but for those who have experienced the depths of depression and despair, they understand the magnitude of this accomplishment. It was a victory that was hard-fought and hard-won.

The year started off on a high note. I had goals, plans, and dreams that I was eager to pursue. However, as the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months, I found myself sinking deeper and deeper into a darkness that felt suffocating. I struggled to get out of bed in the morning, and the weight of my own thoughts felt unbearable.

I reached a point where I didn’t see a way out. I felt hopeless, alone, and consumed by a sense of overwhelming sadness. I had lost all motivation and will to keep going. There were days when I questioned whether life was worth living, and the idea of ending it all seemed like the only solution.

But amidst the darkness, I found a spark of hope. It was a tiny glimmer of light that I clung to, even when everything else felt bleak. I sought help, reached out to loved ones, and sought professional support. It was a difficult and painful journey, but I slowly began to see glimpses of light breaking through the clouds.

Staying alive became my daily battle, and every day that I made it through was a victory in itself. I learned to celebrate the small moments of joy and peace, and I held onto them tightly. I surrounded myself with people who lifted me up and reminded me of my worth. And little by little, I started to believe that maybe, just maybe, I could make it through this.

As 2023 came to a close, I looked back on the year with a mix of emotions. While it was a year filled with struggle and pain, it was also a year that taught me the true meaning of resilience and strength. Staying alive became my proudest accomplishment, and it was a reminder that even in the darkest moments, there is always hope.

Looking ahead, I know that my journey is far from over. There will be more challenges, more moments of doubt, and more days when the weight of the world feels heavy on my shoulders. But I also know that I have the strength to keep fighting, to keep pushing forward, and to keep choosing life.

My biggest accomplishment of 2023 was staying alive when I wanted to die. And for that, I am endlessly grateful.